my day

here I sit, with a glass of white and a scented candle that I paid 15 bucks for. never done that before, and I am totally aware that "scented candle" awakes dubious connotations, but I don't care. it's pumpkin and chestnut, and it's like autumn in a jar.

rehearsals went okay today. we finally finished the new play, and I am quite pleased with the outcome of the story. now we have another week to practise and yell at each other before we're opening. performances tonight went okay, as well. riding my bike back home, I couldn't quite believe this is how I make my living, but I guess it just is.

strangely, I keep thinking of this story my dad told me years ago. I don't remember where or when, but he came to ask me the following: "Imagine you had two bottles of wine, one very good one, and one cheap one. which one would you have first?" he then told me he would have the cheap one first, and spare the good one for later. and that was where I did and still do disagree: I would always have the good one first. and it's the same today: son, he will say, I am worried about your job beig unstable, and the pay little and random at times. the are certain sacrifices you have to make in order to obtain a certain level of security. and me, I would say, dad, listen, I know how you feel, but right now, security is not what I want. I want to get drunk on the good bottle. and if it's really good, I'll be so drunk I won't even notice the other one might be cheaper. there may not even be a "later", and I have always sucked at economizing. but I've been alright so far.

and I get to make my own choice.