sundaythoughts

after an uproar all through the western hemisphere, I have decided to come back and comment on my musings still. holidays. well, I feel like relaxation should come any minute now, I am awaiting it anxiously. in the meantime, I sleep too little and get too much sun. once again I have found how little I need big this and fancy that, just a good cup of coffee and a quiet moment every now and then will do just fine. weird how in two weeks I know I will be crazy busy (and loving it), yet right now I have nothing to do except for enjoying having nothing to do. I am at a friends' house in the south right now, and it is stunningly lovely. my place is merely functional and utterly messy, and here things match! in a good way. I feel very unold and unorganized. yet I always fear being too settled too early, I don't know why. I still believe that everything is possible and just about to happen, and change everything. so why give in to routine? negatively connotated, in my mind... always envied when seen elswhere, though...

I must say I am easily impressed, and often the first to compare to lose. after two weeks in london, I was half way moving there, after three weeks with the musicalcompany, I felt like I should be with them forever. instead, I come home to my mess, missing the stuff I have done until a minute ago and falling for the next best thing. I could start building my own centre of the universe, but I can't yet be bothered... why that is, I do not know.

I cannot say I'm not okay, though. so...